Minor "inconvenience"

Of my recent interlude my poetics are compelled
When my wife received the call her jaw was suddenly felled
From the bar at Purple Turtle in a thick Carrib accent
The caller broke the news of thievery repent
Seems the seas have still been plied and pirates come ashore
Neath the sand there's buried treasure I tell you galore
Musta been a starry night and diggin' done with booze
Cause the treasure that they found was my glasses, keys and shoes
Twas a glorious moment to be relieved of sin
Left a poem for me to write of the lurch I's in.
Blindly each day I'd get all dressed in a shirt that says I'm Sooner
Unfortunately for me my britches are Nelle's bloomers
I'd swagger out the door hair that looked disheveled
Tiptoe down the cobbled streets cause her heels are beveled
Now reclothed in my own digs I begin to act burly
Believe I'll take an evening stroll to go visit Fort Shirley.
A little muscle on the cannon and some powder in the barrel
The wideness of the pirate's eyes will certainly look all scleral
Light'r up and let'r fly I'll be giggling with glee
Yellin' at the fleeing pirates "You don't steal from me!"